


it just takes a second (for my world to come crumbling down)

by rosekatxo



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosekatxo/pseuds/rosekatxo
Summary: Charity and Vanessa find out that Debbie was shot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this before tonight's ep (which was a giant letdown) so here's my take on charity, vanessa and the family finding out about debbie being shot
> 
> this chapter is mostly vanessa and the kids - we all know it's my weakness - but i promise the next chapter is vanity-heavy!
> 
> hope this is okay, please leave me a review or message me on tumblr (nessdingles) if you enjoyed x

She’d been perched in her usual spot at the bar, chatting away to her girlfriend without a care in the world when the police had walked in, and Vanessa had instinctually knew something was wrong straight away.

She’d watched the colour drain from Charity’s face, the tears pooling in her vacant eyes, the uneasy sway of her body causing Vanessa to practically leap across the bar in time to steady her. Charity’s nails had dug uncomfortably into her arms as they gripped each other tightly, but she’d barely noticed, the policewoman’s words playing on loop in her head over and over again.

“I’m sorry to tell you that your daughter’s been involved in a serious incident, Ms Dingle. We need you to come to the hospital with us right now.”

Charity had trembled in her arms, seemingly in shock as Vanessa tried to remain strong for her. “Go,” she’d commanded shakily, her girlfriend’s wrists clasped tightly between her hands. “You need to go with them now, Charity. Debbie needs you.” Her words had seemed to triggered Charity into action, her eyes snapping back into focus.

“The kids-”

“I’ll sort it,” Vanessa had assured, more calmly than she felt as she propelled her around the bar. “I’ll take care of things here. You just go and be with your daughter.”

The pain and fear written across the barmaid’s face had been almost too much for the vet to bear.

“Vanessa…” Charity had choked out, almost causing her to lose her composure, but she’d had to be strong. For Charity, for the kids, and for Debbie.

“Ring me as soon as you hear anything,” she’d replied instead, barely earning a small nod before Charity’s hands were pulled from her grasp as the police guided her outside. The moment the door had swung shut behind them Vanessa had allowed herself to crumple, but only for a split-second. She had to keep it together for the rest of them.

She’d hurriedly explained the situation to Faith, who was understandably horrified herself, but agreed to cover the bar in the absence of Chas. That had left Vanessa watching the children – Moses, Jack and Sarah were already at the Woolpack, having been waiting for Debbie to pick them up. She’d had no idea where Noah was, but tried again and again to get hold of him as soon as possible before the rumours of Debbie’s incident spread across the village.

It had been almost two hours since Vanessa had painted on a smile and greeted the kids, telling them that Debbie and Charity had some errands to run and would be back late. Sarah had seemed sceptical from the off, but had merely sank her head back into her iPad with a huff. Neither Jack nor Moses had any reason to distrust Vanessa and had been playing happily with an assortment of toys ever since. Marlon had sent up some food to save Vanessa cooking, and the two boys had chatted away mindlessly while Sarah surveyed the blonde across the table, the scrutiny making her uneasy. She still hadn’t heard a word from Charity and was conjuring up all kinds of dire situations in her mind – she just hoped that in this case, no news was good news.

After tea, she’d plonked the boys down in front of a cartoon, hoping that Sarah would go back to her music. Sarah, though, had clearly had enough of Vanessa’s attempts to cover up the truth, and was determined to find out what was really going on.

* * *

 

“Ness, I know there’s something you’re hiding from me. You’re a rubbish liar. Please just tell me, you’re scaring me!”

Vanessa raised a hand to her throbbing temples as Sarah pleaded with her, wracking her brains to think of the right thing to say to the young girl. Here she was, in her girlfriend’s living room, trying desperately to pretend that everything was fine when in all honestly their entire lives might be being turned upside down that very moment. How was she supposed to explain that to a worried teenage girl?

“Vanessa!”

The young girl raised her voice, making Vanessa jump. She knew what she’d do if these were her own children, but that was exactly the problem – they _weren’t_. They weren’t even related to her – to Sarah, Vanessa was just a friendly face who spent a lot of time with her granny, and she’d only met Jack a couple of times. Moses, of course, she was familiar with, but even he wasn’t hers to speak of, and he was far too young to understand what was happening.

“Look, Sarah-”

“I’m not a child!” the brunette cried, causing the boys to pause momentarily in their game, before deciding that whatever the topic of conversation was, it wasn't important. “I know something’s happened and I want to know what, you’ve been acting shifty all night. Please, Vanessa.” She looked so young and scared in that moment that Vanessa knew she had no choice to tell her the truth.

“Okay, you’re right – there _is_ something I need to tell you,” she exhaled slowly, glancing back at the younger kids to make sure they weren’t paying attention. “But it’ll have to wait until Noah gets here – he needs to hear this too.”

“Needs to hear what?”

Vanessa turned at the sound of Noah’s voice in the doorway, a mixture of relief and stress flooding through her. The teen narrowed his eyes as he glanced around the room. “What’s going on? Your text sounded urgent. Thought Mum must be mad at me or something.” He paused, frowning as the realisation hit.

“Where is she? Has something happened? Is it to do with… you know?”

Suddenly remembering that Sarah wasn’t to know about his mum’s trauma, Noah cut himself off but not before Vanessa had noticed the undertone of fear in his voice. She kicked herself for not realising he’d jump to that conclusion after everything that had gone on recently.

“No, no, it’s not that,” she reassured. “Your mum’s fine. It’s…” Making sure yet again that Jack and Moses couldn’t hear her, she took a deep breath. “It’s Debbie. There’s been an accident, but I don’t know anything more than that, I'm sorry. Charity’s gone to the hospital to be with her, so you lot are stuck with me,” she tried to lighten the mood, but the forced smile died on her lips as two pairs of terrified eyes looked back at her.

“Mum’s been hurt?” Sarah gasped, tears filling her eyes. “Is she going to die?”

“I don’t know, love,” Vanessa replied gently. “I don’t know how serious it is, but I’m sure they’ll do everything they can. Charity’s going to let us know when she knows more, but for now we’ve got to stay strong and hope for the best.”

At this, Sarah crumpled and launched herself into Vanessa’s arms. Taken aback by this sudden show of affection but knowing the girl was in desperate need of comfort, the vet pulled her tightly into an embrace, patting her back in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. Noah – who had yet to react to the news – scoffed over Sarah’s cries.

“Alright for you to say,” he scowled, “it’s not your sister or mum who’s lying in a hospital bed. You don’t even care about her.”

Although Vanessa knew he was just lashing out in fear (and the fact he still wasn’t her biggest fan probably didn’t help), she couldn’t stop herself from retaliating as she tried to stem the tears threatening to form.

“Don’t even say that,” she replied, voice wobbling dangerously. “I’m just as worried as you are. But fighting amongst ourselves isn’t going to change anything.” However, Noah did nothing but glare at her.

Pulling away from Sarah and wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks, Vanessa cleared her throat. “Listen, all we can do until Charity rings is sit tight. We have to keep things as normal as possible for Moses and Jack, okay? They can’t know anything’s wrong.” Noah rolled his eyes as Sarah hiccoughed, nodding to show that she understood. “So let’s dry those tears and stick a film on while we wait, eh? It might be a while yet.”

* * *

Vanessa came back downstairs after putting the two youngest to bed to find Sarah and Noah in exactly the same positions she’d left them in, staring unfocused at the screen in front of them. She’d fielded Jack’s questions about his mother’s whereabouts by making up some story about two princesses on a quest to fight a dragon (she knew Charity would have complained that she was more of a badass knight, but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her), and tucked Moses and his elephant teddy in the way she’d seen Charity do it so many times. To her relief, neither of the boys had seemed remotely phased by her presence –  it was nice to know that her girlfriend’s family were becoming more comfortable around her, despite the seriousness of the situation.

This had been further confirmed by Sarah herself, who’d attached herself to Vanessa’s side as soon as they’d sat down in front of the television and seemed to want to be as close to her as physically possible for comfort. Sitting back down on the sofa, Vanessa smiled slightly as Sarah shifted to get comfortable, her head coming to rest against the blonde’s shoulder. Vanessa, for her part, had spent the past few hours alternately stroking the girl’s hair and wiping away her tears as Noah sat silently in the armchair across from them, lost in his own thoughts.

“Where’s Johnny?”

They hadn’t spoken to each other since he’d accused Vanessa of not caring about Debbie, but whatever she’d been expecting Noah to say to her, it definitely hadn’t been that. She turned to face him, smiling gently in the hopes of offering some comfort after the day’s events.

“He’s with my dad,” she explained. “I was already here when the police arrived, and it seemed pointless to bring him over here when we didn’t know what was going to happen. Besides, I know he’ll be looked after there and I needed to focus on looking after you lot tonight.”

There was a flicker of something like appreciation in Noah’s eyes, but he didn’t say anything more than “Oh,” before returning his focus to the screen. Vanessa sighed – now wasn’t the time to push, she knew that, but at least he wasn’t arguing back again. She’d take his silence for now.

The night drew on, and still no word from Charity. Despite Vanessa’s best attempts to stay calm and stoic, she couldn’t deny the rising panic she felt at still being kept in the dark. She was sure Charity would have called by now if she knew what was going on – she wouldn’t purposely shut Vanessa out, not to mention the kids. But what if the worst had happened? What if Charity was struggling to come to terms with it, all on her own, and there was nothing she could do to help?

“You two should really be heading to bed now,” she broached the subject gently with the teens, preparing herself for the inevitable fight.

“I want to stay with you,” Sarah replied quietly, shifting closer than Vanessa even thought possible.

“No way. I’m staying up until we know,” Noah echoed determinedly.

Vanessa sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing with them. After all, they were just worried about Debbie – she might as well let them stay with her if it would help. “Fine,” she relented. “But if you’re tired I want you both to at least try and get some sleep, okay? It could be hours before we know any more.”

Sarah nodded sleepily against her arm, Noah completely ignoring her and picking up his phone instead. She tipped her head back against the sofa and squeezed her eyes shut. _Come on, Charity,_ she willed. _Let us know what’s going on. Let us know she’s okay_.

* * *

 

By midnight, both teens had fallen asleep waiting for news and Vanessa’s nerves were wearing thin. Faith had locked up and offered to stay overnight, in case Charity called before morning, so Vanessa had gratefully accepted and sent her to get a few hours’ sleep while she could. Alone with her thoughts, she just couldn’t shake the image of Charity, keeping a distraught vigil by her daughter’s bedside. Vanessa couldn’t imagine what she’d do if her baby was in the same situation – although, deep down she knew that what she was feeling about Debbie wasn’t that far removed. She already felt like Charity’s family were her own, and her girlfriend’s eldest had been a surprisingly good friend to Vanessa recently.

Deciding she needed a cup of tea, both to calm her nerves and keep her awake, Vanessa slowly extracted herself from Sarah’s grasp and padded over to the kitchen. She filled the kettle and set it boiling, hoping the noise wouldn’t wake the whole house, and as she turned back around she had the distinct feeling of being watched. Her eyes fell upon Noah, hunched over the kitchen table, who stared unblinkingly back.

“I thought you were asleep,” Vanessa admonished gently. It wasn’t until she moved closer that she noticed the tear tracks streaked down the boy’s face, and she felt her heart clench at the sight. “Oh, sweetheart.”

Vanessa had to bite back a sob as she sat beside him, extending an arm to cautiously wrap around his shoulders. To her surprise, he turned into the gesture and allowed her to pull him in close, burying his face into her shoulder. Vanessa allowed her own tears to fall as she held him, stroking his back soothingly and whispering reassurances into his ear. “Sssshh, it’s okay. Let it out. Everything’s going to be okay.” After a few moments, Noah pulled back, blushing.

“Sorry,” he looked down at his feet in embarrassment. “I don’t know why I did that.” He looked so like Charity in that moment, so insecure and vulnerable, that Vanessa felt a swell of empathy for the boy.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry for,” she soothed. “I get it, you’re upset and that’s okay, you’re allowed to be. There’s nothing weak about showing emotion, Noah, I promise you.” He raised his eyeline to meet hers.

“I’m scared, Ness,” he blurted out. “I know we don’t always get on, and she does my head in half the time, but she’s my big sister. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to her.”

“Just because you argue doesn’t mean you don’t love each other,” Vanessa chuckled softly. “God knows me and Tracy have had our fair share of disagreements. That’s just what siblings do. And like I said, it’s okay to be scared – perfectly normal, in fact. But all we can do for now is stay positive, yeah?” Noah nodded slowly, Vanessa placing her hand on his arm for a brief second before standing.

“Right, why don’t I make us both a brew and then you can come over here and join us instead of sitting here on your own?”

“Okay,” Noah agreed surprisingly easily, wiping the remaining tears from his face. “I’ll make it if you want, you go and sit down.”

Vanessa nodded gratefully. “That’d be lovely, thanks.”

She was just about to plonk herself back down beside Sarah when the sudden vibration of her phone startled them all. Noah dropped the spoon he’d been holding with a clatter, meeting her gaze as Sarah blinked blearily up at them, before remembering the night’s events and sitting bolt upright.

“Is that Granny Charity?” she breathed, twisting her hands together as Noah appeared beside her.

“Yes,” Vanessa bit her lip. “I need to answer it, okay?”

As they nodded anxiously, Vanessa steeled herself and pressed accept.

“Charity?”

_“Ness.”_

She sounded so tired and fragile that Vanessa wanted to march over to the hospital that very second, gather her in her arms, and never let go. “What’s going on? Is Debbie okay? What happened?”

 _“She’s just out of theatre. They said she’s not out of the woods yet but it’s looking better than earlier. I’ll fill you in properly when I get home – they won’t let me stay overnight so I’m getting a taxi back now_.”

“Oh, thank god,” Vanessa exhaled, noticing the two teens glance at each other from the corner of her eye. “That’s a good sign, at least?"

_“Yeah. Listen, Ness, I’ve got to go. I borrowed this woman’s phone because mine’s broke and she needs it back. I’ll be there in the next twenty minutes.”_

“Okay, babe. I’ll be waiting,” she reassured her girlfriend. “See you soon.”

Before she’d even put the phone down, Sarah was gripping her arm desperately. “So?” she begged.

“Charity’s on her way home now. She’s going to tell us more when she gets here, but it sounds like your mum’s through the worst. She didn’t say what had happened, though.” Tears began to spill from the young girl’s eyes once more, exhaustion and relief overcoming her.

"Hey, hey, no more tears,” Vanessa soothed. She caught Noah’s eye as he shot her a weak smile before leaning back against the sofa heavily. “Everything’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity comes back from the hospital. Lots of emotions ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's chapter two! i did mean to get it finished earlier but the episodes this week have proved too much of a distraction until now
> 
> as promised this chapter contains a lot more vanity, although i'll never be able to stop myself from writing them with the kids, sorry
> 
> there's probably one more chapter to come, but it won't be until next week because of the soap awards! (fingers crossed for emma of course)
> 
> hope you enjoy the feels x

It was almost 1am by the time Vanessa heard the taxi pull up outside the Woolpack. She’d tried to persuade the teens to go to bed once they knew Debbie was going to be okay, but they were as stubborn as their mothers (and grandmother, in Sarah’s case) so she’d given up that fight fairly swiftly. They’d both fallen into a light doze at either end of the sofa, leaving Vanessa alone with her thoughts to worry about the state her girlfriend would be in when she finally arrived home. At the sound of the car door slamming, however, both Noah and Sarah leapt upright, ready to pounce on Charity as soon as she walked through the door.

“Listen, guys,” Vanessa approached gently, “I know you want to know what’s going on, and I’m sure Charity will tell you everything important before you go to bed. But please try not to overwhelm her too much - she’s been through a lot tonight, so she might not be up for a lot of talking.” The kids nodded solemnly.

“Do you think she’ll mind if I hug her?” Sarah asked worriedly.

“Course not, sweetheart,” the blonde reassured. “I think she’ll need a hug just as much as you do.”

The door to the back room creaked slowly open as Charity crept across the threshold. She paused, clearly not having expected to be greeted by a welcoming committee in the middle of the night, as both Sarah and Noah barrelled towards her.

“Mum!”

“Granny Charity!”

“Hey, kids.” She wrapped her arms around them both, stroking their arms and placing a kiss on their foreheads in turn.

Vanessa took the opportunity to sneak a look at her girlfriend, simultaneously curious and afraid of what she might see. The makeup she’d been wearing earlier that day must have been cried off, the remnants of mascara tracks still lingering on her cheeks. The dark circles under her eyes gave away just how exhausted the woman truly was, coupled with the paleness of her skin. Her hair was mussed up, as though she’d been tugging at it in her distress (something she often did without realising), and she looked so haunted and fragile that it tore at something deep in Vanessa’s chest.

As Vanessa watched her, wondering how it was possible for somebody to look so broken and yet still so beautiful, Charity met her gaze over the top of Noah’s head. The soft smile the vet gave her, the empathy and love in her eyes, quietened the buzzing in her head for the first time since she’d found out about Debbie.

She couldn’t explain it, felt stupid when she tried to, but over the past few months Vanessa had become her safe place, her refuge when things got bad. Just one look was enough to pull her from the darkness threatening to overwhelm her, to ground her back into the present, and more importantly to allow her to _feel._ It took all her willpower not to break there and then, but the warmth of the children in her arms reminded her - _not yet._ She had to keep it together at least until she knew they were okay, and only then would she let herself fall apart in Vanessa’s arms.

“What happened, Mum? How did Debs get hurt?” Noah pulled out of Charity’s embrace and looked up at her desperately, needing to know the answers he’d been dreading all night. Sarah’s expression matched his, although she was more reluctant to let go.

“I’ll tell you everything I know,” promised Charity, exhaustion evident in the wobble of her voice. “Let’s sit down, yeah?”

 She indicated for Noah and Sarah to take the sofa and sank heavily into the armchair, allowing herself a brief moment of respite to gather her thoughts. Beside her, she felt Vanessa slide onto the arm of the chair, instinctively knowing Charity would appreciate the comfort of her presence. Reaching out, the taller blonde linked their hands together, drawing strength from the way Vanessa’s petite hands fitted warmly between hers.

“Look, there’s no easy way to say this, so I don’t want you to panic, alright? Debbie was shot this afternoon, up at Home Farm.”

“Shot?” squeaked three voices in unison, Vanessa’s grip on her intensifying.

“Yeah. I know that sounds really bad, but luckily it missed her vital organs – they’ve removed the bullet, so fingers crossed she’s going to be okay when the anaesthetic wears off. It could have been so much worse.” She shuddered, involuntarily, and Vanessa’s arm fell across her back, squeezing her arm in reassurance before moving to trace gentle patterns on her skin.

“Do they know what happened?” she asked, sensing that Noah and Sarah were still too shocked to speak.

“They think it was an attempted burglary,” Charity shrugged heavily. “Joe and Ross found her – they’d both been out looking for her when she stopped answering her phone. I don’t even know why Debs was there in the first place, but that’s not my main concern right now – it’s just a good job they found her in time, or-” she broke off, the words getting stuck on her tongue.

“Was Joe hurt too?” Noah frowned.

“No, babe. He wasn’t there when it happened, he just found her a few minutes later. He wanted to text you and let you know he was alright, but I told him to wait until I’d seen you because I knew you’d ask him about Debs.” She paused, weighing up the situation in her mind, before deciding she was too tired to argue over that tonight. “Maybe you can go see him tomorrow, alright? Once we’ve seen your sister.”

The boy nodded gratefully. “Thanks, Mum.”

Sarah, who hadn’t said a word since Charity had mentioned the shooting, interrupted them quietly.

“So Mum’s definitely okay? She’s not going to die?”

Charity felt her heart clench at her granddaughter’s words. “Like I said, sweetheart, she’s not completely out of the woods yet, but they’re pretty positive she’ll wake up soon. Then they should have a better idea of what’s happening.”

“That’s good, then,” Vanessa spoke softly, not entirely sure who she was reassuring with her words – Charity, the kids, or herself. “With any luck she’ll have improved again by the time you see her.”

Charity nodded before stifling a yawn. She looked between the two teens in front of her, heavy eyelids trying desperately to stay open; they looked as exhausted as she felt.

“Right, kids, I think it’s bedtime for all of us,” she prompted. “We’ll be up early tomorrow to go to the hospital, you need to get some rest, okay? Debbie’s going to be absolutely fine, and she’ll tell you that herself in a few hours.”

Noah began to haul himself up from the sofa, but Sarah still looked uncertain. “Will you come and tuck us in? Like when we were younger?” Her voice was so small that all Charity could see in front of her was the scared little girl she used to, and it made her want to cry. Noah looked embarrassed, but didn’t try to put her off – she had a feeling the night’s events had affected him more than he was letting on.

“Course I will,” she soothed. “I need to check on the boys, anyway.” She squeezed Vanessa’s hand before standing, the vet stretching out beside her before following suit.

“You see to the kids and I’ll make us a drink, yeah?” Vanessa prompted. “I’ll stick some toast on, too, you need to eat something.” Her concern made Charity smile a little despite the situation.

“Thanks, babe,” she replied, heading towards the stairs.

“Oh, and Faith’s staying overnight in case we needed her, so try not to wake her up,” Vanessa raised her eyebrows at the kids.

“We won’t,” Sarah assured her, wrapping her arms around the blonde once more. “Thank you for looking after us tonight, Vanessa. I’m glad you were here.”

Vanessa’s eyes glistened as she ruffled the girl’s hair. “You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.”

Charity watched as Noah shifted from foot to foot before piping up. “Yeah, thanks Ness. For… you know.” He looked around awkwardly as Vanessa shot him a watery smile, before heading up the stairs, Sarah following closely behind.

The barmaid felt the tension sag from her shoulders at seeing the two of them interact nicely for once; something must have happened while she’d been at the hospital to make Noah thaw towards her girlfriend, but she’d ask about that later. Right now, she just wanted to kiss her babies goodnight and crawl into Vanessa’s arms, leaving the pain of the day behind.

“Give me five minutes, babe.” Her voice was gravelly, betraying her exhaustion as she began to climb the stairs behind the teens.

“You do what you have to do,” Vanessa assured her. “I’ll be here waiting.”

* * *

 

 True to her word, five minutes later Charity’s quiet footsteps padded back downstairs. Vanessa turned to flash her what she hoped was a reassuring smile as she finished pouring the drinks, Charity refusing meeting her eyes but swiftly grabbing a slice of buttered toast and slumping down onto the sofa. Sensing that she needed time before she spoke about Debbie again, Vanessa offered her an out.

“Did they go off okay?” she asked, balancing both mugs and her own plate of toast as she gingerly crossed the room. Charity reached out and accepted her drink gratefully before she could drop anything, placing it down on the floor.

“Yeah, both fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow. Had to stay with Sarah until I knew she’d dozed off, though - she gets really clingy when stuff like this happens, always has.”

“She was clingy with me earlier,” Vanessa agreed. “Hardly left my side all night. I did try to get them to go to bed earlier, but they weren’t having any of it and I didn’t have the heart to make them when they were that upset.”

“It’s fine, babe,” Charity reached out and placed her hand on her girlfriend’s knee. “I didn’t expect them to be able to sleep without knowing what was happening. To be honest, I’m impressed you got the boys to bed okay. They can be a right handful together, especially Moz, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“They were both angels, actually. We didn’t tell them anything – I wasn’t sure if you’d want them to know, or if they were old enough to understand – but I think they sensed something was wrong, and that’s why they didn’t play up. Only took me one story to send them both to sleep. Hey, maybe I’m just that boring,” she joked, nudging Charity’s elbow.

The quick flash of a smile she got in return didn’t reach Charity’s eyes, and Vanessa sighed. She could sense her girlfriend was crumbling, but until she allowed herself to let go Vanessa wasn’t going to push her. It had to be in her own time, as it always did with her.

“Noah was quiet,” Charity murmured, sipping her drink slowly. “Was he okay with you? I hope he’s not been a brat all night.”

Vanessa hesitated, part of her feeling like Noah wouldn’t want his mum knowing about his moment of weakness. However, Charity deserved to know what was going on in her kids’ heads; that was more important right now.

“Quite the opposite actually.”

“Oh?” Charity’s eyes met hers, her voice the lightest it had been since she’d stepped in the door.

“Well, I texted him to come home so I could keep an eye on them all together.” Charity nodded in understanding. “He thought he was in trouble or something, but then when he realised I was alone he freaked out. He thought something had happened with Bails again.”

Her girlfriend closed her eyes at the mention of the name, Vanessa’s hand instantly connecting with hers in reassurance.

“Don’t worry, he didn’t say anything to Sarah. So anyway, I told them as much as I knew and he lashed out at first, then ignored me for most of the night.”

Charity snorted. “Head buried in his phone, by any chance? Yep, sounds like Noah.”

“That’s what I thought,” Vanessa continued. “But then once Sarah was asleep, I found him crying to himself, trying to hide it from me.” Concern flashed across Charity’s face immediately. “I wasn’t sure if he’d let me comfort him, but when I tried he completely broke down in my arms. Sobbing and everything.”

The barmaid’s face crumpled. “Oh, my poor baby,” she breathed heavily. “Noah never cries, especially not in front of anyone. He must’ve been in a right state.”

Vanessa rubbed her arm soothingly. “He was, but he’s okay now. To be honest, I think Debbie being shot was the final straw. It’s been a hell of a few weeks for all of us, hasn’t it?”

When she got no reply, the vet continued.

“Anyway, I think it helped to get it all out of his system. He apologised straight away, and I did my best to reassure him that it’s not weak to cry and that contrary to popular belief, bottling things up makes it worse. Can’t think where he gets that idea from.” She raised her eyebrows teasingly, Charity rolling her eyes gently in return.

“I’ll have a chat with him in the morning, make sure he’s okay.” She paused. “Hey, at least he’s starting to trust you now. I knew he’d come round eventually.”

“Silver linings,” Vanessa hummed in agreement, her fingers tracing soft patterns down Charity’s arms.

“Ness,” Charity turned to her suddenly, eyes desperately locking onto her girlfriend’s, “seriously. Thank you for staying with them tonight, I know it must have messed up your plans with Johnny and everything, but I’m so grateful. Knowing you were here to look after them made it easier for me to go, and I’m glad you were here to keep them calm. You’re so much better at that stuff than me.”

Vanessa smiled sadly, clasping Charity’s cold hands in between her own. Deciding it probably wasn’t the right time to argue over her parenting skills (which were much better than Charity would ever give herself credit for – she’d seen that first-hand, time and time again), she shook her head.

“You don’t have to thank me, Charity. I’m your girlfriend. It’s what you _do_ when you care about someone. Debbie, the kids – they’re your family. They’re-” she halted, taking a deep breath. “They feel like _my_ family. I was worried sick. I would have been here whether you’d asked me to or not.”

Charity’s eyes swam with tears as she leant closer and pressed a kiss to Vanessa’s forehead, the action combined with the look in her eyes conveying more than she ever could with words. Vanessa wrapped her arms around the taller woman, pulling her back against the arm of the chair until she was resting with her head on Vanessa’s chest.

They sat this way for a moment or two, savouring the closeness and the much-needed comfort, Vanessa wary of saying too much and tipping Charity over the edge before she was ready.

“So Debbie – she’s definitely going to be okay?” she questioned softly, hands playing with the ends of Charity’s hair as the other woman sighed.

“They’re as hopeful as can be. Once she comes round properly they can assess the damage, but they don’t think it’ll have any long-term effects, luckily.” She shuddered again at the memory of her daughter lying there surrounded by so many machines, looking so fragile and childlike in her hospital bed. Vanessa squeezed her arm, Charity intertwining their fingers and gripping them for dear life.

“And you?” she broached gently. “Are you okay?”

No reply.

“Remember the other week, what I said to you? You don’t have to tell me you’re fine when you’re not. You’re safe with me. It’s okay to let go.”

She felt Charity’s body shake, instinctively sitting upright as she shifted her girlfriend’s body until she could see her face. “Oh, babe.” Vanessa swallowed the lump in her throat at the sight of the barmaid with tears streaming down her face, looking just as broken as she had that awful night. “Come here.” She tugged Charity’s wrists and the taller woman fell into her embrace, now crying freely as she clung to Vanessa, head buried in her shoulder.

“I’ve got you,” Vanessa soothed over and over, rocking them back and forth like she did Johnny when he had a night terror, or Tracy when she’d broken up with David and had meltdown after meltdown. “It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay. I’ve got you.”

“I thought she was dead, Ness,” Charity sobbed, voice cracking in a way that caused tears to sting Vanessa’s eyes. “I thought I’d lost her. My baby girl, all covered in blood. She was so pale. It’s stupid, she’s a grown woman, but all I could see was my tiny little baby girl lying there in that bed.”

“No matter how old they get, they’re still our babies,” Vanessa empathised, stroking her hair as she held her. “It must have been terrifying, seeing her like that. I hate that you were alone.”

“You had to stay here, though. The kids needed you,” Charity hiccoughed.

“I know. But you did, too.”

The barmaid nodded, pulling away slightly and resting her forehead against Vanessa’s. “I did,” she choked out. “I still do. The only other thought in my head once I knew Debs was okay was that I needed you to hold me, I needed to feel safe.” She looked the smaller woman directly in the eyes. “I don’t think I could do this without you.”

“Lucky you don’t need to then, isn’t it?” Vanessa replied as she wiped away a few lingering tears from Charity’s cheeks. Gently encouraging her girlfriend to fall back against her chest once more, Vanessa curled her arms around Charity as she allowed herself to lean into the sofa. “We can stay here as long as you want – as long as you _need._ There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here with you.”

As Charity’s eyes began to flutter closed, the hint of a smile playing at the corner of her lips, Vanessa kissed the nape of her neck gently. Charity’s fingers enclosed around hers once more, and as she felt her girlfriend’s breathing begin to even out, Vanessa allowed her own tears to fall. She hated seeing Charity so lost; hated even more how powerless she was to do anything about the situation. She hated that Debbie had almost been taken from them, that Sarah and Jack had probably cried themselves to sleep, that the two little boys upstairs had no idea of the turmoil going on all around them.

But there was one thing she knew for sure - something she'd known for a while, really, but hadn't thought about all that much until today.

Charity’s family were strong, resilient, unbreakable – they’d all get through this, together. And although if someone had told her this six months ago she would have laughed in their faces, she knew she was becoming a part of that family, and she wouldn’t change a thing.

 


End file.
